Wednesday, October 2, 2013

The Aftermath

Between the meltdown in the early hours of this morning and Harriet's inspiring post (I promise I loved it Harriet, and I love your courage!), I felt a little glimmer of the strength within me that has been so hard to reach lately.

I started thinking about this incident and how Harriet described padding consequences. I was all fired up when I wrote that post. But, do you want to know what I did about it to enforce boundaries? Nothing! Not a single thing. I let it go. I even enabled it. This week, when I saw that Husband's bank account was getting low, I reminded him and asked him to please not overspend this week. It was lame, I know. How many times have my pleading words really been heard by someone who is a recovering addict? Right, like zero.

After my meltdown, I opened my accounts to find that Husband has $4.04 left in his account. And I know that he wrote at least one check for over $50.00 this week. He's going to overspend his account. And today is not a day where I back down. I left work, went to the bank, and changed the account settings so that it no longer overdrafts from my savings. My hard-earned money that I am saving for a house for our Child is safe. And sometime today or tomorrow, a check will bounce from his account.

I am tired of padding the consequences. Please God let this fire within me last so that I can protect myself and my child.

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