My Dad

Growing up, I had a hard time understanding my dad. When I was little, he was a bit stern. He spanked us and yelled at us, especially my brother, who was known for his amazing temper tantrums. My dad wasn't around much. He worked constantly to try to make ends meet, always gone on evenings and weekends.

As I got older, I got to know my dad more and discovered that we were just alike in so many ways. I have always had a very different personality than my mom, we both recognized this early on because it created lots of problems for us. But I knew that I could always count on my dad to understand me. He understood why I didn't want to be the center of attention, why crowds made me nervous, why reading books about anything and everything was a perfect way to spend free time.

There's something else we had in common. Distance. My perception is that both me and my dad preferred to be comfortably distant from people, lest we risk entering into a moment of vulnerability.

This has changed in the past few years. My dad was the one who came to be with me and help me make tough decisions when I was in a state of shock after D-Day. He has also, over the years, become much more contemplative. He's been through an enormous transformation of his faith, even changing careers because of it. Many people in his community look to him for guidance in matters of faith, and even more people look to him as a kind and loving friend.

But today, I want to talk about my dad as a champion of our cause. He has the kind of job where he has a regular audience, listening intently to what he has to say. And he's started to discuss the uncomfortable stuff, the stuff no one wants to talk about. He's started writing and speaking about the negative effects of pornography, of a sexualized culture, of the lack of respect for women as more than their looks. And I think it might be even harder for him, as a man, to speak about these topics than it is for me, as a woman (and he's not even doing it anonymously!).

There was a time when I didn't understand my dad. I didn't understand his distance, and I didn't know enough about his difficult childhood to understand.

But my dad today is my fellow warrior in this fight. And this is one of the greatest blessings I could have ever imagined.