My therapist introduced an amazing concept to me.
I can choose whether or not to accept another person's opinion of me. I have no control over what another person chooses to say to me, but I can choose whether or not to receive those words. She said that sometimes when a person gives her a compliment, she will even say out loud to the person, "I receive that".
And it just so happens to work the other way around. I can also choose not to receive words.
Someone close to me recently told me that I really need to teach my son to toughen up. At first, I started to internalize the comment, feeling ashamed of my parenting skills. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I intentionally refrain from giving my son the message that he needs to toughen up. I for sure encourage hard work and communication skills, but I choose not to stifle his naturally sensitive and caring nature. He's just fine the way he is, and so I chose not to receive that criticism. She was free to make the comment, but I'm also free to choose to reject it. It really helped me to stop the spiral of shameful thinking.
In my mind, I replaced the criticism with an affirmation. I am a good mom!
