Where Are My Marriage Books?

The other night I was driving and listening to a woman talk on the the radio about a book she wrote on marriage. While listening to her speak about her strategies for maintaining a healthy marriage, I had a lightbulb moment. Where are my marriage books?

I'm naturally curious and the sort of person who gains new insights by being an avid reader. When I had my child, I bought every book about parenting I could get my hands on. I wanted to know everything I could know about how other mothers and professionals deal with common parenting difficulties. This was hugely helpful to me as I didn't have family nearby to give me words of wisdom. My mom was always a phone call away, but there is something very powerful for me about hearing the stories of many women in many different situations. I also have a huge collection of books on faith and spirituality. Self-help books, books written by religious leaders of different denominations, and books on deep and critical analysis of faith line my bookshelves. When I found out about Husband's addiction, a new section of my bookshelves emerged. Books on sexual betrayal, dealing with addiction, co-dependency, anger, meditation, you name it. This was combined with reading countless blogs of brave women walking this path with me.

I probably have hundreds of books in my house, and not one of them is on having a healthy marriage. I never once, throughout dating my spouse and getting married to him and living with him before I knew he was an addict, did I buy a book on maintaining a healthy marriage. The truth is that my collections of books represent how I invest my time, and unfortunately, I devoted almost no time to understanding what a healthy marriage looks like and how to be a good spouse. This is a sad truth. If I'm honest with myself, I recognize now that my marriage was never a priority. Addiction or not, I prioritized everything above my marriage, because Husband was so easy going. I thought he'd just always be there hanging out, and so I did not invest in my marriage.

Today I am taking a day off work to go to the bookstore.