Just Let Go

I had a great weekend. And that is an honest statement because this is my blog, and I can say what I really think and feel. In the past, if anyone asked, I always responded that I had a great weekend. But most of the time, I did not. I always acted as though everything was just peachy, and I realize now how in denial I was about the state of my marriage.

Today, I feel serenity. I'm finding that the more I let go of the addiction and all that comes with it, the anger, the resentment, and the need to control, the more manageable my life seems. The more open I am to positive experiences. The more I have fun. And, probably most surprising of all, the more I let go of the addiction, the more Husband seems to delve into his recovery. This is really the outcome that has me most amazed. I let go of his addiction the moment I told him he had to move out of our house. I divorced the addiction. And as soon as I quit obsessing over the addiction, he started to care about recovery.

So this weekend was great. We had a family dinner where we laughed and didn't pretend. Every now and then I get glimpses of pure joy, something I haven't experienced since I was a child. I am so thankful for my own child, who reminds me how beautiful life is, even in our circumstances.