Me: "When you weren't open with your plans tonight, I felt unsafe. One of my boundaries about honesty includes not omitting any information in conversation. So, I would like to sleep separately from you and be cautious until I feel safer."
Husband: "What I'm hearing you say is that you feel unsafe [yay for therapy dialogue technique]. I'm sorry that I wasn't completely transparent with you. I understand why you might feel unsafe because I used to withhold information from you a lot. I don't know why I wasn't just open, it was a mistake in communication on my part. I do want you to know that I am not hiding anything. I have not slipped or relapsed. I will work on being completely open with you in communication."
Huh. I already feel better about last night. My husband would never have that response if he was actually hiding something. He would avoid confrontation and would get angry and deflect questioning. I know this from lots of experience living with a liar for many years.
It will take some time, I guess, to adjust to the new in-recovery Husband, but I am definitely not complaining.
No comments:
Post a Comment