Seeing Me

When Husband moved out of our home, I was really worried about how our Child would adjust. I did a bunch of research on how to help him through the transition, and I decided that we would get a pet. A fish. Child was ecstatic. He wanted a pet so badly, and was giddy to go pick out a fish.

So, I started my research. How do you keep a tank healthy for a fish? What do I need? What's the right size? How do I have a happy little fish and take care of him well? I learned about nitrogen cycles and gravel vacuums and filters. And when I felt ready, I let Child pick out a fish and name him. It sounds silly, but that fish was our little buddy during that lonely time. We watched him a lot, and he was so calming.

I don't do things half-way. If I'm going to do something, like get a pet fish, you better believe that the fish will be the best kept fish there ever was.

About a week ago, fishy got sick. Husband has been hands-off when it comes to the fish, but he offered to get the supplies I needed to help fishy. I said OK and appreciated the help. As it turns out, Husband became interested in the fish as well.

So today, he said that he wanted to walk me through how to take care of the fish. He explained the nitrogen cycle to me, the gravel vacuum, the filter. And in the most respectful voice I could, I told him that I already knew that information. He was surprised. "How did you know all that?" He said.

This is an example of how Husband doesn't really see me. He doesn't really know me. If he really knew me, he would know that I would never do something like buy a fish without reading everything there is to read about how to care for a fish.

I am thoughtful. I try hard. I hope that someday Husband will see this and know me.