Back To The Beginning

Continued from here...

I used to think that I knew a lot of stuff for sure. Now, I'm unsure about a lot of things.

But there is one thing about which I am absolutely certain.

God can turn death to life.

I had to die to learn how to live. Our old marriage died to make room for the new marriage. And I absolutely am not the source of this unearned new life. It must be God. There is absolutely no other way to explain how I could be in this place in my life otherwise. For most of the past three years I was angry with God and not praying that he would heal me. But being the ever faithful, loving higher power God is, God put the right people in my life at the right time to carry me. The fact that I am a person who experiences joy is the work of God.

This new life God has given me is different than I ever imagined. But in a deeper, more beautiful, more human way.

I have no clue why my husband chose recovery when most husbands don't, why I was lucky enough to be surrounded by the best therapists and 12-steppers out there when many women struggle to find good help, and why our marriage came back to life while others fade away. It is not because I made all the right decisions. It is certainly not because my husband made all of the right decisions.

Which brings me back to the point of the story. Conversion. Or reversion. Maybe.

We're finding ourselves in a season of new beginnings. Our new beginnings, through a string of well placed coincidences, has led us to once again embrace natural family planning and learn healthy intimacy through the Creighton model.

That's how we went from feeling that natural family planning was the source of many of our problems to feeling as though it is a precious gift that heals pain.

That's my story. I don't know if I told it well. I don't know if it will be meaningful to anyone but me. But I feel like I have a responsibility to carry this message forward to others. And this is one way to carry the message.

God can turn death into life.