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I am so glad that you are standing up with me on the most important day of my life. I thank God that He brought you and Eleanor together. You are an amazing husband and father, and I couldn't ask for a better match for my sister. I look to you as a role model for what a loyal and caring husband is. I'm glad to have another brother!
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I had a couple of reactions to reading the card. First, I was relieved in a strange way to receive confirmation that I was not somehow missing something that everyone else saw in Husband. We were all duped into thinking that Husband was an honest and selfless man with no secrets. The second reaction was sadness and empathy for my brother. I know what it was like to find out that years of my life were a lie, and it hurts that my brother also had to experience that along with the rest of my family.
I had absolutely no idea that my seemingly loving and selfless husband was consumed by an entire alternate world of infidelity until I accidentally discovered it with one click of a mouse. And what hurt most was not the infidelity, but the realization that my life as I knew it for eight years was not reality.
"Perhaps robbing someone of his or her story is the greatest betrayal of all." -Anna Fels
oh I hear you! I spent an hour today telling my dad about why I had to set my latest boundary (in house separation) and my dad said, "but I'm just so concerned about your marriage."
ReplyDeleteUm, yeah, Dad, me too. Only there is no marriage. Not in the sense I thought there was. My marriage is based on lies, secrets, infidelity and betrayal. That is no marriage. My marriage has to have a makeover and in order to do that, we both have to heal, individually. It sucks that after 17 years, we are right back at the beginning again. I feel this post. Hugs to you.